Rita went on holiday to Florida, leaving Derek and Mavis in charge of the Kabin. An overenthusiastic Derek immediately mucked up the rounds and blamed the paperboys, then suggested they should start selling sandwiches and milk right in front of Audrey Roberts. The Rovers was in chaos as the fitters started work on the new kitchen. Bet was horrified that she had to eat breakfast in the cafe - spitting gristle into her hankie so Gail didn't think she was Lady Muck - and worse, she had to use the Ladies in the bar after the one in the flat broke. This was all bad timing as Vicky was back for the holidays, but she was happy to spend her time out of the house flirting with Steve McDonald. They almost snogged, much to Alec's horror. In a plotline out of the 1920s rather than the 1990s, Alma was horrified for her reputation after Jackie Ingram named her as co-respondent in her divorce from Mike. She demanded Baldwin keep her name out of the whole mucky affair so he told her he'd have to contest the divorce.
WEDNESDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 8th and 10th April 1992
Stella Rigby offered Bet a last minute holiday in Tenerife, much to Alec's annoyance. (Incidentally, throughout these episodes, Julie Goodyear pronounced it "Tenerifey", which is a tiny but brilliant touch). She wanted to take Vicky, but Vicky was far more interested in being close to Steve, so she went on her own. She also got her inheritance, with a monthly allowance until she turned 18 and got the rest. The solicitor paid back Alec as well and Vicky discovered he'd claimed her Christmas present as an expense. She was furious, deciding he was using her as a cash machine, and announced she was going to a party in Liverpool with Steve (once again Liverpool was presented as an unholy sodom at the end of the earth). She bought a dress for it in a quite incredibly Nineties sequence set to the Stone Roses - it was like the clothes buying montage from Pretty Woman, except instead of Beverley Hills, it was Affleck's Palace. The chaos at the Kabin continued so Derek fined paperboys whose rounds were going out wrong. They promptly went on strike, so he sacked the lot of them, and Mavis realised her idyllic newsagent dream was being ruined. Mike tried to get Alma taken off the divorce petition, but his solicitor said that would be impossible, as it had all been sorted. He also reminded him that she was only named as co-respondent because Mike put her there to get a quick divorce. This got awkward when Alma came up with the idea of going to see Jackie herself...
THURSDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 13th and 15th April 1992
Derek was forced to apologise to the paperboys to get them back. He was just in time, because Rita returned from Florida the next day. She went out for dinner with Boring Ted - because apparently two weeks with him wasn't enough - and he confessed he had a terminal brain tumour and was going to die soon. He wanted to spend his dying days with Reet. When Liz discovered Steve was planning on taking 15 year old Vicky to an all night party she put her foot down, and he agreed to leave the girl at home. With that problem solved, she got a new one, as Andy asked for Paula to stay the night. Mike spoke to Jackie and she agreed to take Alma's name off the divorce, feeling sorry for her, but Mike pretended he was moving heaven and earth to get it all fixed so he could keep Alma hanging on. When she went to his flat he lied he had sacrificed some of his settlement to get her name out and she was pathetically grateful. Mike confessed his love for her and proposed again; this time, Alma accepted. It's all very creepy. And Alec let Percy back into the Rovers after he spent the day hanging around the Street feeling sorry for himself. Percy promptly queried if the pumps were clean.
FRIDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 17th and 20th April 1992
Rita was distraught at Boring Ted's news, and felt cheated out of a future. She avoided him while she mulled over their engagement. In the world of ITV3 this all feels very fast; Boring Ted appeared for the first time only a couple of weeks ago for us in 2019, and he's already on his way out. Plus side, Reet, you won't have to put up with him for very long. Mike announced his engagement in the Rovers. Alma was thrilled and her neighbours were... happy for her. She did stand up for herself a little bit, refusing to move in with him, so she could retain just a little bit of independence on the off chance he decided to run off with a client again. Liz was shocked to discover that Andy had spent the night in bed with Paula, not on the sofa as intended. She forced Jim to give him a lecture about responsibility and made disparaging remarks about what kind of girl Paula was for sleeping with her boyfriend. It's amusing to see the old Liz painting herself as a picture of virtue and clean living. Betty was baffled by the new stainless steel kitchen and couldn't work out how to operate the oven. It left her hotpots cold, which is a crime. Still, at least nobody will get salmonella.
At one point on Friday Mike bought drinks all round and got change from a twenty pound note. If you know where I can get a time machine to send me back to 1992, let me know on Twitter @merseytart.
Classic Corrie is on ITV3 every weekday at 14:50.
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