She's coming home, she's coming home, she's coming - Carla's coming home. Although not voluntarily. Roy, returning from his travels, has the bright idea of going to the hotel where Carla was staying, rather than running 'round the Red Rec, shouting "Carla!" as every other character has done recently. At the hotel, he and Johnny find a dishevelled room and Carla's kidney meds, which she hasn't been taking, but no sign of Ms Connor, or Miss Donovan, as she's now calling herself. Maybe they should've just looked in Roy's flat, which is where Roy finds her. He is shocked by her mental deterioration as she insists that they find Aidan as he will be able to help persuade Kate admit that she hid Rana in order to punish Carla for the roof collapse. Roy's opposition to mobile phones looks rather pig-headed as he tries to phone various Connors on his landline with the aid of an address book, all the time trying not to disturb Carla, who believes that her relatives are out to get her. This doesn't work and Carla ends up cowering in the cafe as an ambulance arrives to take her to hospital, shouting at Roy that she'll never forgive him for his betrayal.
The comedy storyline, which kind of jars with the drama, is Rovers Got Talent, which features: i) El
Geoff is his usual awful self, expecting Yasmeen to do her own magic trick, read his mind and somehow know that she's supposed to be his glamorous assistant in his act, something she can't do because she's a busy business woman, running her own restaurant. Once again, she apologises to him for his crass behaviour and ends up agreeing to watch a three hour David Copperfield film with him (I suppose everyone loves a Dickens adaptation) and Emma steps in. The "Limestone Cowboy", El Kirko, loses the talent contest, but wins the phone number of a talent scout after his rendition of the John Shuttleworth-esque ditty: "My Knicker-Packer Glory". (Un)fortunately, we don't get to hear his other new song: "Your Puppies Make My Blood Hound".
Meanwhile, over at Streeetcars, Tracy's determination to move to a three bedroom house and away from her mum-in-law, are matched only by Steve's determination not to modernise Streetcars. They're losing custom to
And human man-bun Seb meets sweetie-pie Alina once more and gives her a friendship bracelet, because it's 1993, apparently. She's been moved to a new nail bar and nasty Rachel tells her off when she sees Seb hanging around. Alina agrees to meet Seb on a date, which involves sitting on Maxine's bench and eating chips, because: teenagers. She likes him, but won't let him walk her home and doubles back when she leaves, so he won't know which direction she lives in.
(Not nasty) Rachel Stevenson - on twitter








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